Cavs vs. Celtics : Preview

Afternoon folks, I hope the Sunday scaries aren’t hitting too hard and the hangover from last night has passed over like Lebron passing the torch to KD. We have ourselves a huge eastern conference finals tonight, between the masshole celtics and cavaliers from “The Land.” Many of my sources are telling me that this game will come to the manalytics tonight: do the Cavs have the grit or do the Celtics bring their lunch pail and hard hat and send Lebron off to ride the banana boat for the summer. Side note, does Melo get kicked off the banana boat now that hes old and sucks? Just some food for thought folks. Getting back to the game, this has to be one of Lebron’s biggest game 7’s in his career. If he wins he goes to Golden State probably loses his 6th final but at least he gets to get a nice bottle of chardonnay. Sheesh! But -if he loses- his career in Cleveland is probably over and he’s off to LA to be a player/owner in Lavar Ball’s minor basketball league. At the end of the day I think Lebron wins it and gets to his 6th straight final. Lebron is the best player in the world and will put up 50 and lead them to a close victory. The sports takes leading up to the finals will be sizzling hotter than guy Fieri in an episode of DDD. Is this bad for the league? Did KD ruin the NBA? All fair points. On the off chance the Celtics and Rockets win, that would be huge for the league. Final prediction: Cavs 107, Celtics 103. Mark it down folks, you’re welcome for that free money.


-Jackson Parker


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