The Sideline Observer

Sports and Culture Commentary

NBA Finals : Pool Basketball Mock Draft

Summer is in mid-swing and that means only one thing, it’s pool basketball season. All the gritty uncoordinated rec league players have a new found confidence in the water. What makes a pool basketball player great is not necessarily shooting, but physicality, pure athleticism, and a BIG body. A player that perfectly embodies the spirit of a pool basketball player in the NBA Finals is Javale Mcgee. Definitely not the smoothest ball player out there, but with his height, combined with his elbow-throwing tendencies he is a guy you want in your foxhole/local pool. With that said, let’s segway into the meat and potatoes of this article: NBA Finals Pool Basketball Mock draft.

Greg’s Team

  1. Kevin Durant: With KD’s wingspan and three point ability, he is a matchup nightmare in the water. He may not be the strongest player, but his lankiness will make it easy for him to slither (Get it? … snake reference) in and out of zone and man coverage. KD is a matchup nightmare for all opposing teams.
  2. Shaun Livingston: Similar to KD, Livingston has large wingspan and can drain from three. He has the tangibles to stretch the floor and put your average Joe on skates. If Shaun is a member of your foxhole, make sure to invite him to your cookouts so he will go soft on you in the water.
  3. Javale Mcgee: From winning 20 games a year in D.C to winning NBA championships, Javale has resurrected his career. Sure he may miss a few layups here and there but with his size, grit, and athleticism, he certainly makes for a imposing specimen in-between the lane ropes. His hand eye coordination may not be the best, but he offers so much as a rim protector and big body down low.
  4. Cedi Osman: Cedi Osman is not the most noteworthy player in the finals. But with him consistently being the first player off the bench to high five his teammates after a timeout, he is the team player that can propel a pool basketball team to greatness. He will not demand the ball often but can hit the occasional outside shot. He got the nod as this pick just because of his moral boosting ability in the locker room/showers.
  5. Nick Young: Swaggy P, another former Wizard now finding success in Golden State, lets it rain in a game of pool basketball. He’s that guy that stands in the corner, doesn’t play defense and is always chucking it from three. He may not offer anything except the ability to heat up, but if he does. Game Over.

Jackson’s Team

  1. LeBron James: I don’t think I need much of an explanation for this pick. LeBron James is the best basketball player in the world on land or in the water.
  2. Larry Nance Jr.: Larry Nance is the ultimate pool basketball player. Not the most coordinated and misses lots of free throws. But with his size and unmatched intensity he is a guy that will be throwing down wind mills in the pool. Great dunker that will hype up the team and can change the momentum of a game.
  3. Kevin Love: The only knock on this guy’s game is that he has a tendency of being weak and soft. However, he has the tangibles and talent to make you salivate before the post game grill out begins. He is a friendly dude and will do whatever it takes to sometimes be as good as he is supposed to be.
  4. Andre Iguodala: Team player, determination, grit, will, and a knack for winning. Andre Iguodala may be the steal of this draft. Overshadowed by his counterparts on land, he is sure to make a splash in the pool. He is a versatile player and it translates in the foxhound.
  5. Jose Calderon: The guy is a billionaire and while he is pretty awful during games, he is great to have to support the team’s expenses. Offering delectable food, personal masseuse’s, and a world class practice facility, Jose Calderon is the ultimate guy you want to use outside of the pool to help your performance and chemistry inside the pool.

In this draft stacked with locker room morale boosters, physical freaks, and gritty team players, both teams would fare well against other swim and dive clubs in pursuit of a Pool Basketball title.

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